Sandy Astbury 1944 – 2018
On 17th January 2018, the first new moon of the year, I was in Abergele (Wales) with my partner and 89 year old mom. We were attending the funeral of my brother’s wife – Sandy. She had been ill for some time. My sister and her husband joined us for the funeral and to support my brother Colin.
On this new moon we all said our final goodbyes to Sandy and, although a little sad, I quietly celebrated her transition back to Great Spirit. Her karma for this life at an end, another chapter marked up on her akashic record. According to her sacred contract as she entered into this world, many moons ago, she is now in the right place at the right time and all is well. Her transition is complete.
My brother Colin, however, is still going through his transition in this life. His transition may well last a while before he once again feels that he is in the right place at the right time! My brother is the one ‘left behind’ feeling the loss and grief for his loved one. No longer a ‘couple’, my brother will need to adjust to living alone, cooking for himself, and doing all that other ‘stuff’ that couples do together during their daily lives, while talking to her memory as he does so. Yes, Colin’s transition may be a painful one but he will not suffer! Pain is inevitable in life, suffering is optional.
Colin will experience the emotional pain of losing the physical presence and personality of Sandy. However, I know that his religious beliefs will prevent him from suffering, because he knows from the core of his being, that at some point, he and Sandy will be together again. My brother is a Jehovah Witness and has a deep belief in the Resurrection. He also knows that in Truth, none of us are ever alone.
I am not a Jehovah Witness, and I am not drawn to any form of orthodox religion. My beliefs differ to my brother’s, but this didn’t stop me from attending Sandy’s funeral service at the Kingdom Hall. All the ‘brothers & sisters’ there were so kind, caring and compassionate. They did Sandy proud with a wonderful service that brought tears to Colin’s eyes. I shed tears too … For Colin; I felt his pain, his loss and I felt so much compassion for him. We all comforted Colin and held space for him throughout the day. I will continue holding space for him until he can stand centered in his own sacred space.
Colin is a strong-minded sort of chap, he will deal with his loss in his own way and in his own time. I love you Colin. Blessings to you and Sandy, she brought much happiness into your life. And you cared for her deeply and tirelessly during her illness when she was incapable of caring for herself. This is what Love is.
Have you noticed that I have expressed this tribute to Sandy & Colin two weeks after the funeral on, 31st January 2018 – the second full moon of the month (blue moon), and a total lunar eclipse? It is a time of ‘releasing’; of ‘letting go’ and expressing gratitude for all our blessings. I am grateful that Sandy was a part of our family for a while, I am grateful for the happiness she brought to my brother and for all the laughs we had when we visited Colin & Sandy in Wales. I am grateful for having a brother like Colin. Although our beliefs differ greatly, we remain open to each other’s beliefs and love each other deeply.
Sandy’s transition and, my brother’s tears, were great reminders of the love and compassion I am capable of experiencing. I am grateful to Sandy and Colin for reaching in to the core of my Being, and helping me to feel the deep love that resides there.
RIP Sandy Love & Blessings to you & Colin. I love you.